Dark Chao Adventures Episode 9: Girls Are ICKY! Chapter 1: Darky and the Brain [in the Dark Garden, Dark is playing Sonic Riders, against Devilish] Dark: HA! I just slapped poisonous gas onto you! Devilish: Dark, that's NOT poisonous gas... Dark: It's not? But, I could've sworn Eggman keeps poisonous gas in his..... oh. [Shade walks in] Shade: Who's thinking what I'm thinking? Devilish: We DON'T have any sharks with lasers attatched to their heads, Shade! Shade: Not what I was thinking... Dark? Dark: I think I'm thinking the same, but this time, YOU wear the tutu! Shade: What? No! I'm thinking of sending Shade Jr. to Preschool! Dark: OH! I knew that! Ha... Devilish: OOH! I just OWN'D you! YEAH! The dynamite's in YOUR pants, now! Uh-huh! Oh, yeah! Shade: The what's in his WHERE!? Devilish: Nothing. Nowhere. What? I didn't say anything. Did I say anything, Dark? Dark: Yes, you did: "The dynamite's in YOUR pants, now!" That's what you said. Devilish: Shade, what're we gonna do with him? Shade: I have an idea, but first, we're gonna need those sharks with laser beams attatched to their hea-- Devilish: We're NOT getting any, Shade! Dark, take Shade Jr. to Preschool while I talk to Shade about those 'budget cuts'... Dark: Yes, sir! [later] Shade: So, all I'm saying is that if I could borrow some coconuts, a bottle o' booze, and 3 copies of "Girl Chao Gone Wild Magazine"-- [Dark steps in] Shade: -- (nervously) I..... could end world hunger! Y-yeah, that's it... Dark: Sir, there's a girl at the gate, can she come in? Shade: I've told you, Dark! It's "MAY she come in!" Set good examples for the chicks-- uh, female chao. Anyway, yes, she MAY. [a chao that looks just like Shade, but with female features comes in] Girl: Hello, Dark Chao ruler Shade, sir. Shade: Uh..... please, um, call me... uh, Shade. State your name. She-Shade: I am Shade, too! Shade: Shade 2!? She-Shade: No, my name is Shade, also! Me: (I am the Narrator, remember?) This girl is based off of the 'replacement' Shade I got on a new memory card, but it turned out to be a girl. Shade: So, uh.... Shade, what are you, um, here for? SShade: I came here to join the.... [pulls out piece of paper]..."Idiot Army"? Shade: Who gave that to you? SShade: This nice Hero chao. Shade: Don't listen to them! They're the enemy! You may call us what you want to, as long as I can call you... [Shade passes her a piece of paper that says,"Write your phone number on the line below."] Chapter 2: Just a Few..... Feminine Touches [Later, Dark is facing Devilish, again, on Sonic Riders] Dark: I think that fox is a pretty girl... Devilish: He's a GUY. An 8-year old GUY. Dark: Oh, shut up! You're just saying that cuz you got shocked by her girl-gigglyness! Devilish: I was shocked by a plug he pulled out of his pocket. Dark: HER pocket! Devilish: Oh, yeah? Well, since you want proof, look at this! [He pulls out a Sonic comic, where Sonic calls Tails a 'he'] Dark: Oh. Well, I still think that red, big, woman is REALLY cute! Devilish: (quietly) You think EggMAN is an EggWOMAN? I don't know you anymore... [Shade walks in] Shade: Dark, are you pondering what I'm pondering? Dark: I think so, Shade, but can the Gummi Worms really live in peace with the Marshmallow Chicks? Shade: Huh? Devilish: Don't listen to him, he thinks Eggman's a girl. Anyway, if our knees bent the other way, how would we ride a bicycle? Shade: What? NO! I'm thinking of asking Shade out to the CPAK Valentine's Day dance! Dark: That's great, and all, but, taking your OWN SELF to the 'Veelanteem's' Day dance? How'll you do the Tango? Shade: I mean HER! [points to SShade] Dark: Oh. Well, good luck! [Shade walks away] Devilish: Hmm.... hey, Dark, since we're on TAG mode, and there's a turbulence shortcut coming up, you thikin' what I'm thinkin'? Dark: I think so, Devilish, but I find scratching just makes it worse. Devilish: Okay, I KNOW I'm gonna have nightmares after hearing that. I'm scarred for life. [Meanwhile, Shade gathered everyone] Shade: OKAY! Listen up, everyone! I have an announcement! Dark: Has it got anything to do with "Thinking what you're thinking"? Shade: No. Dark: Good, cuz I ran outta catchphrases. Shade: I gathered you all here to say that Sonic-- Devilish: SONIC!? No, I SWEAR, Amy was in my bed when I got there!!! Shade: No, Devilish, this has NOTHING to do with..... you. Sonic: But, since you mentioned it... Shade: No time to get into this! Sonic is taking me for a walk, okay? Dark: Oh, okay. Shade: And while I'm gone, Shade will be taking care of you! Dark: Yeah, Dark likes speaking in 2nd person too, but Dark was wondering, since Shade's going out with Sonic, how can Shade take care of Dark and Devilish? Devilish: Dimwit, he means the GIRL will be taking care of us. Dark: Oh. Okay! SShade: Yes, I'm looking forward to it. [Sonic and Shade leave] Dark: .... Devilish: .... SShade: So.... anyone know where the bathroom is? Dark: What's a bathroom? SShade: Wha-huh? But... where do you... never mind, I don't want to know. Devilish: Anyone wanna deface the big statue? Dark: I DO!!! [Dark and Devilish head to the island while SShade looks around a bit] SShade: This place... it needs.... [Later, when Shade comes back...] Shade: WHAT DID YOU DO!? SShade: Just a few.... feminine touches... Chapter 3: CPAK- Day of the Dance [What were the feminine touches? You'll see at the end...] [Later, at CPAK] [Devilish is in the corner's 'Baddy-Bye Chao' prison, Dark is in the corner, wearing a 'Dunce' cap, and SShade is at the front of the class, introducing herself] DT: Yeah, yeah... who are you.... whatever... SShade: I am Shade! Not the guy right there, but a girl Shade! DT: Yeah, yeah... sit down. [SShade sits down next to Shade] Shade: Um... why are you sitting close to me? SShade: I thought you liked me. Shade: I DO! It's just.... well... SShade: Well what? Shade: Shadow read to me once-- DT: Shade, do you have something you'd like to share with the REST of the class? Shade: Uh... no-- DT: Too bad, come up here and share it with everyone. [Shade gets up to the front and shivers a bit] Shade: Um... um... my Uncle Shadow read to me in a book once... [a few minutes later, Shade is sitting in the Principal's Office] P: What did you do? Shade: Um... I just said that Girls had cooties. P: (sigh) Shade, I know how you must feel, being the "Boss of Darks", and all, but saying that girls have COOTIES.... well... it's unacceptable! Shade: But all I said was they have cooties! P: I know, and I can accept that, but throwing a paper airplane with the words "Cootie Airlines" on it, and hitting CHAO with it??? Shade: It was supposed to hit the girl Shade... but, Chao has cooties, too! P: I don't care! You are suspended tommorrow! Shade: Suspended how high in the air? P: No, you ARE NOT GOING TO SCHOOL TOMMORROW. Shade: ....and this is punishment HOW? [Shade goes back to class, and sits back down to where he was] DT: Okay, everyone, quiet... today, we're learning about SHAPES... whoopee... [Tails breaks in] DT: What the??? Tails: Sonic found me and gave me an extra life. And YOU are fired! DT: Ah, who cares? I was bored of this job, anyway. [Dark Tails leaves] Tails: Hey, everyone! Today, we're going on a FIELD TRIP! [Everyone cheers] Tails: A field trip.... to Stephen King's writing studio! [Everyone is confused] [Later... everyone comes back into class] Chao: THAT was the goriest book ever read to me! Dark: I don't know what 'Goriest' means, but that sure was a disgusting book! [Shade and Devilish come in excited] Shade: MAN! That was COOL! Devilish: Yeah! Hey, remember the part when that guy's EYES popped and GOO came out of them? Shade: YEAH! And-and, remember the part when that guy's TONGUE was chopped off and NAILED to the wall? Tails: Urp... maybe I mistook him for Stephen Queen.... [the bell rings, and the P.A. turns on] PA: Everyone! The CPAK Valentine's Day dance is NOW! Chapter 4: Girls Really ARE Icky! [at the dance... everyone but the 4 Dark chao are dancing] Dark: Uh... I don't do dance. Devilish: M-me neither. Besides, who wants to get tired? Chao: HAHAHA!!! Awww... da widdle dorks don't do dance? HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!! Shade: Shut up, Chao, and at least I CAN dance! Chao: Oh? Yeah, sure... the dork does dancing... Shade: Let's see YOU dance! Chao: Okay, fool! Prepeare to be out-danced! [Chao dances terribly] Shade: More like out-losered, or something. Chao: Let's see you dance, dork! Shade: I don't NEED to. I'm still smart. Chao: Oh, COME ON!!! I'M smarter than YOU!!! I'll show you: Winnifred Shakespeare was a football player unlike any other! Dark: Don't you mean WILLFRED the WRITER? Devilish: Yeah, even DARK knows he's called Willfred. Chao: Okay, how about this: I am cool! SShade: HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!! That's a good one! So, Shade, shall we dance? Shade: ......no. Nope, we'll just reminisce over past Red Dwarf episodes like 'Psirens', 'Confidence and Paranoia', and 'Future Echoes'. And make fun of Chao. SShade: (sigh) Alright... fine! If you guys don't want to dance, then FINE! What will you do? [later, in the Dark Garden...] Chapter 5: The Last Line Of the Day: [later, in the Dark Garden...] Sade: Okay, okay, okay! We will now end this Episode of Red Dark with the ending to 'Me (Squared)'. Ready? Devilish: No, no, no, no, NO! Too much Red Dwarf... Dark: Yeah, really... Shade: Well, what do you want to do, then? Devilish: Get some sleep. [as Devilish, Dark, Shade and SShade leave, Shade gets the line in:] Shade: Souper. (super mixed with Gispatcho soup, said as a gag at the very end of Me (Squared)] (laugh track, applause, the Red Dwarf ship appears on screen while the Credits roll by) Everyone: SEE YOU NEXT TIME!!!! SShade: I'll still be here!