LAST TIME, ON DCA:

GLaDOS: I'm the only thing standing between us... and THEM.
Shade: Tagliare?
Tag: I'm a Beta Avenger.
Shade: 'Cause this is Thriller, Thriller night!
Sign: "HA HA HA! This bomb will explode in two minutes unless you blow it up first with dynamite! Because the dynamite will make a much less explosion."
Shade: Um... guys? You may want to run as far away from here as possible.
Dark: Why?
Shade: Just trust me.
[they all run seperate ways, as well as the Heroes, who recieved a bomb, too]
[fade out, followed by a two loud explosions, and Echo's and Tagilare's laughter]


["DCA6" appears on screen in typewriter writing]

Dark Chao Adventures Episode 41: Important Understandings

[our story resumes somewhere in the middle of Station Square, the chao are gathered in a subway station]
Chapter 1: Recap is a Gross Misspelling of the Word "Boom"
Dark: *sob* I'll miss you, Shade!
[Dark leans on Shade, who pushes him off]
Shade: Calm down! We're not going YET, dummy!
Dark: Oh.
Chao: Shade... are you sure you know what you're doing?
Shade: Trust me on this one, Chao... 'cause if I make ONE miscalculation here.... we might end up falling into more than just a trap.
Red: So, can we go over this plan one more time?
Shade: All right.
[Shade pulls out a map of the gardens, which includes the Lobby and CPAK]
Shade: We know that Echo and Tagliare pretty much bombed our gardens, right?
Chao: Yeah.
Shade: And as soon as we ran, none of us looked back, right?
SShade: Right.
Shade: Well, I did. And I noticed... CPAK seemed perfectly normal.
Hero: ...oh, Hero Chaos, no... Shade, are you going where I think you're going?
Shade: Not I, Hero.... WE.
Hero: Now, when you say "WE..."
Shade: I mean you, me, Chao, and Phantom.
Ph: Hey, Shade... why the random character roster?
Dark: Yeah, I mean, this isn't the original Smash Bros.
Tail: Burn!
Shade: Well, I picked Hero 'cause he's cool; Chao 'cause he's my rival; Phantom for the same reason as Hero; and me 'cause..... I'm ME!
Ph: All right, nice choice, dude. But... what, exactly, is it that we're doing?
Shade: Simple. We're heading back to the Chao Pre-School and Kindergarten, that's what!
Ph: Aw, crap.
Pf: Shade, you can't! It's too dangerous!
Shade: Okay, okay, okay-- give me ONE good reason why it's dangerous. For one thing, it's the GARDENS that blew up, NOT the lobby, remember?
[Purf shuts up]
Shade: Seriously, guys... I think we can do this.
Qu: One question, Shade.
Shade: Shoot.
Qu: WHY ARE WE IN A SUBWAY STATION!?
Shade: Well, Quartz, I checked the Chao World Exit thingy, and it's broken.
Dark: Broke like you.
Qu: ....that was uncalled for.
Shade: So, I put my BRILLIANT mind to work again. "What other ways are there into the gardens?"
Hero: But... we don't know any!
Shade: That is true. BUT, I have another question: "How do we get to the Stardust Eggman?"
[a few chao attempt to speak, think a little more, then close their mouths]
Shade: If you'll think back to episode 6.... Zim teleported us. With some kind of watch thing.
Aqua: ...ah, so THAT'S why we're in the Subway Station...
Shade: Right. Simply put, we need to get to Zim, but Zim lives far away. The subway's fastest way to get around.
Dark: Fast like yo mama.
Shade: ...right, well, any questions? .....I thought not. Let's go!
[they board the subway, but as they board, the camera pans to show a mysterious man in a beige coat and hat talking on the phone]
Man: I know that boy is home. Come on son and answer the phone. Something new has come up and...
[the man notices that the train leaves]
Man: ...Echo, they've left. I repeat... they have left on the train, and I think they're going to Zim's. I made them think I was just the ending to MOTHER, but I fooled them.
[the man takes off his beige hat, revealing two giant, blue, robotic ears (taller than Metal Sonic's)]
Echo (on phone): Nice job, JOE.
[JOE and Echo laugh maniacally]
Chapter 2: One Plan Ruined, One Plan Succeeded
[cut to the subway, the chao are casually sitting down while the other passengers stare at them oddly]
K: What? .....WHAT? You jerks act like you've never seen a chao before!
Passenger: Dude, chao don't ride the subway.
K: Well, at THESE prices, I'm not surprised. Heh heh...
Passenger: ...the subway's free. You guys don't know squat, and you're all know-it-alls.
Tail: Hang-hang-HANG on a moment. We don't know squat.... yet we're know-it-alls.
Passenger: Y...yeah.
Dark: Excuse me, but... are you constipated, sir?
Passenger: What? No, of course not!
Dark: Well, you sure are full of shi--
[the lights turn off, and the train stops, making some chao fall over]
[when the lights turn on, the train is empty, and moves at twice its normal speed]
Honey: What the? Where did everyone go?
K: Yeah, and that constipated guy!
[the train slowly gets faster and faster and faster and faster until it goes faster than ____ itself]
Shade: Wait, did that thing just skip the word ____?
[Shade notices ____ has paused since the train is going so fast]
Shade: What the heck is going on!? The word "____" has disappeared!
[he looks around]
Shade: In fact, it has also paused! WHY CAN'T I SAY--
[everything REALLY pauses]
[seconds pass, the camera slowly drifts backwards in ____ to show Echo putting on a blue suit and red tie]
Echo: Okay, lemme try this... *a-hem* (creepily) You're not... supposed *krrk* to beeeee heeerrrrre.....
[a blurry figure walks on-screen]
MM: Nice job.
Echo: Millllllkmannnnnn....
MM: That's right. It's ME. Come on, say the next part.
Echo: In the flesh. Or rather, in the hazard suit. I 
took the liberty of relieving you of your weapons. Most of them were 
government property. As for the suit, I think you've earned it. The 
borderworld, Xen, is in our control, for the time being, thanks to you. 
Quite a nasty piece of work you managed over there. I am impressed. 
MM: Ha... excellent work. *looks at camera* It would appear our plan is working.
Echo: Yessss.... *a-hem* (normal) This suit truly DOES have creepy powers.
MM: Remember, you control ____ as the readers and chao know it, so I'd recommend sticking to what's SUPPOSED to happen.
Echo: Right, I'll shift ____ back to the present so the readers can see what happens next.
[the camera slowly drifts forwards in ____ to show Shade shouting]
Shade: WHY CAN'T I SAY--
[everything REALLY pauses]
[seconds pass]
[Shade's surroundings drift away, leaving just him]
Echo: (creepily) Time?
[Shade looks around and sees a man in a business suit walk into the abyss in front of him]
Echo: Shade? Is it really that time again? It seems as if you only
just arrived. You have done a great deal in a small timespan. You have done
so well that I have received some interesting offers for your services. 
Ordinarily I would not contemplate them, but these are extraordinary times.
Rather than offer you the illusion of free choice, I will take the liberty of
choosing for you. If and when the time comes again.
I do apologize for what must seem to you an arbitrary imposition,
Shade, I trust it will all make sense in the course of.. well.. I am 
really not at liberty to say.
[a white light shaped as a doorway appears]
Echo: In the meantime, this is where I get off.
[he walks through the doorway, and it closes]
(NOTE: If you wish to hear that entire speech as it was [truly awesome], either beat Half-Life 2 or follow this link: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RaFVCtidfNM )
[hours pass, and Shade eventually wakes up]
Chapter 3: The Gray Journey
[cut to Shade's POV (think FPS), everything's blurry (note: this is not a Valve game, I'm just doing this for suspense)]
Shade: Ugh...
[the surroundings appear neon and pretty, but Shade just can't quite grasp their appearance]
[suddenly, Shade properly wakes up and notices he's in Casinopolis]
Shade: Ugh... jeez, what a dream.
[Shade gets up, shakes his head, and looks around]
Shade: Oh, I get it. We went to a casino, and I got drunk and fell over. OBVIOUSLY.
[Shade walks around a little before realizing--]
Shade: ...CHAO CAN'T GET DRUNK!
?: *sigh* Sheesh, I have to tell you EVERYTHING, don't I?
Shade: What the!?
[the MILKMAN enters]
MM: Shade, can't you ever just figure these things out on your own?
Shade: No.
MM: Listen up. This is Episode 41, right?
Shade: Yeah.
MM: Season 6?
Shade: Right.
MM: So, the first episode of the Gray Journey?
Shade: I'm pretty sure.
MM: Good. Well, as I said WAY back in Season 3, I hold a secret. A BIG secret. And I've told you it.
Shade: ...ah, yes, I remember now.
MM: Good, good, you remember. BUT, the readers DON'T know the secret. So, on the Season Finale, I will tell Dark, all while the readers are listening.
Shade: Wouldn't that be "reading?"
MM: Whatever. Episode 48 takes place in another dimension, all right? A completely different dimension.
Shade: How do I get there?
MM: Teleport. Well, that plus the power of the seven yellow chaos drives.
Shade: Yellow.... swim chaos drives?
MM: That's right. If you'll remember Season 4 finale, you became a swim chao temporarily, just to take us down. Yet it didn't work.
Shade: I remember. And Shade 2 somehow talked to me?
MM: Uh... he did? Hmm... that's odd. --never mind, I'll look into it later. Anyway, that's just a taste of what the seven chaos drives will give you.
Shade: So... this whole season is just a plot device? One BIG plot device?
MM: Hey, isn't that what EVERY season is?
Shade: Good point. So, I need a teleporter.
MM: That's right.
Shade: And seven chaos drives.
MM: On the dot.
Shade: Where do I get them?
MM: The chaos drives... I can help you with that. Here's one... *digs in pocket* ....somewhere....
[the MILKMAN takes a glowing, yellow stick out of his pocket, and gives it to Shade, who dances and spins around]
Shade: Why did I do that?
MM: Ask Sonic Team, not me. As for the other drives.... good luck.
Shade: WAIT! Before you go... what about the teleporter?
MM: *evil grin* Oh, you'd like to know where that is, wouldn't you?
Shade: Um... yes, I would.
MM: I knew you would. Listen to me, check the Casinopolis subway station. Look for a broken-down old train, enter it, and press the big, red button that says "DO NOT PUSH."
Shade: Wait... it says I shouldn't push it!?
MM: Relax, that's just so people won't push it.
Shade: Now, what about my friends?
MM: Your.....friends? ...ah, yes. They.... are fine.
Chapter 4: The Prologue's Over, the Season Now Begins
MM: When Echo donned his G-Man suit, and transferred you here, he also transferred your friends to different locations.
Shade: Aw, great.
MM: Relax, Shade. They are near key plot devices, so when you find a chao, you'll know you're getting somewhere.
Shade: Now, why would it be like that?
MM: It's a cliche.
Shade: Oh. Finally, what's with Echo's G-Man costume?
MM: That costume allows him to.......with a great big bang and a...... dooty-doot....... .. . . . ......................
[a few hours later]
MM: ........ .  ..  ..  . .....Ben Stiller haicut. Were you listening?
Shade: Yes, I was. I see, so the readers always see that Paper Mario "falling asleep" thing whenever you want them to?
MM: Correct. Just so I secretly tell YOU something, but not them. They MIGHT learn this stuff later.
Shade: So, in non-spoiler terms, I need to find Echo.
MM: That's right. I shall go now.
[the MILKMAN disappears]
Shade: Little does he know, when I find Echo, I'll KILL him for bombing my garden! Same with you, Tagliare...
[Shade laughs maniacally]
[cut to the dark-blue room; Shade laughing is on a monitor; MILKMAN and JOE are watching it]
JOE: You told the secret to HIM?
[the MILKMAN has a face-palm, and sighs]
MM: Yes, he's an idiot, I'm afraid... but he's also the star of the season. What choice did I have?
[camera zoom-in on the monitor]
Shade: So, what was that about a train?
[cut to the subway, Shade enters the broken-down train, and presses the "DO NOT PRESS" button]
[RUMBLE]
[the train moves at a nice speed]
Shade: ....
[minutes pass]
Shade: ........it's amazing how BORING things get when you're alone. Why don't I have my portal gun? That would've made things cooler.
[seconds pass, Shade thinks a bit]
Shade: Hang on... I NEVER LOST MY PORTAL GUN!
[Shade pulls out his Aperture Science Handheld Portal Device (Portal gun), and snaps it on to his right arm]
Shade: Sweet, I'm Samus!
[Shade poses, while aiming his portal gun around and humming random Metroid songs]
Shade: Heh... p'choo, p'choo! ...gotcha.
[Shade shoots a blue portal beneath his feet]
Shade: Cool, it's like I'm standing on nothing!
(note: the portal gun had reset, and when you shoot just one portal, it's all wavely and stays there, but doesn't work)
MM: Shade, don't forget what I told you!
Shade: I know, I know, now SHUT UP!
[Shade looks out the window, and notices that he's not underground anymore]
[in fact, the train is on a rail above the train! It's one of those hanging rails]
Shade: Where the Dark Garden am I?
[he sees canyons]
Shade: Hmm... hang on, I think I remember a place that had a teleporter... and was in the canyons.
[he passes some scientists rushing to catch their trains]
Shade: It started with a B.... and was in a video game...
[he passes some top secret equipment]
Shade: The game started with an H....
[he passes a large sign that reads "Black Mesa Research Facility"]
Shade: Now, what was the game's name?
[he passes a snack machine]
Shade: *gasp* A snack machine! I'll portal gun it so it gets over here.
[he shoots the area near the snack machine]
Shade: Drat, I missed. ...oh, yeah, the game was Half---
[since he was standing on top of a portal already, Shade falls out of it]
Shade: --LIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIFE!!!!!
TO BE CONTINUED....