[a clip of Shade outside Aperture Science is on a blue screen] MM: What the? Shade escaped? JOE: I can't believe it! MM: How are the others fairing without him? JOE: Echo has bombed each garden, sir. [the Portal theme slowly fades in] MM: Survivors? JOE: None. [the two laugh as the theme continues] (Last time on) Dark Chao Adventures [cut to Shade sitting in a red chair in front of the camera] Shade: Hey, I'm Shade. I'm the one who woke up in a pod yesterday. ...I'm not joking. [clips of the previous episode play] Shade: It turns out I had been, erm, "shipped" to Aperture Science for some reason. Not even sure WHO did it. [clip of Shade getting the Portal gun] Shade: I found this strange gun with the ability to make portals. Y'know, jump in one, come out the other. [more clips] Shade: I managed to escape the bizarre training course to find the 'boss' of the 'operation,' GLaDOS. [clip of GLaDOS] Shade: GLaDOS stands for Genetic Life-form and Disc Operating System. [more clips] Shade: I blew 'her' up and escaped. That's what happened. [fade-out] Season 5: The Going Doesn't Get Good Until You Get Going. ...Good. Episode 40: Now You're Thinking With Portal Storms part 2: When I Look out There, It Makes Me GLaD I'm Not You [cut to Shade walking across some quiet streets; a destroyed Aperture Science is seen in the background] Chapter 1: Us... and THEM. Shade: Hello? Hellooooo? [eerie silence] Shade: Where am I? [he's on a highway, but with no car, bird, animal, etc. in sight] [then, a town is seen on the horizon, Shade runs to it] Shade: Hello? [silence] [he checks in a nearby building, but nobody's there] Shade: okay, I don't like this. I need some people to talk to! [silence] Shade: Shut up. [silence] Shade: I SAID "SHUT UP!" ...huh? [Shade notices the Companion Cube behind a dumpster] Shade: Is... is that YOU, Aperture Science Weighted Companion Cube? CC: You murdered me... you threw me into a fire! Shade: B-but I didn't mean to! GLaDOS made me! She forced me with all her talks of how you would rather die! CC: I will never forgive you, Shade... YOU... MURDERER... [the Companion Cube disappears] Shade: Compy... WHERE DID YOU GO? *sob* [hours pass before Shade hears something] ?: *static* ...(muffled, radio-like, deep) You there. Get up. Shade: *sniff* Who.... me? ?: YOU, citizen. I see no other. Get up. Shade: Please... let me mourn over my lost love... ?: Reporting a code twelve: Citizen is refusing to follow orders. Submitting for public service detail, T124-492. Shade: What? [Shade turns around and sees a chao wearing a black combat suit, wearing some odd form of gas mask, and holding what appears to be an electric billy club] Shade: EEK! Combine! I'll get up; I'm sorry, sir! I obey! [Shade is about to be smacked with the club when the chao disappears] Combine Chao: (like a voice in the wind) Reporting a murderer of Companion Cube...... Shade: I didn't murder him/her! I DIDN'T! [Shade decides to 'walk it off,' and proceeds across the highway] [hours of walking pass before Shade sits down from tire] Shade: *pant* ...Just... where am I? [suddenly, Shade spots a car coming from the town] Shade: Huh? But... where'd that come from? [as it drives by, Shade sees what looks like some chao driving, and in the backseat, the Companion Cube chucks a laptop out the window to Shade] Shade: Thank you, Companio-- WHAT THE? [he looks to where the car went, but nothing's there-- any traces of the car have gone, except the laptop] [so, he turns on the laptop, and a filed report is on the screen] [strangely, a sound file plays as he reads, which sounds like GLaDOS singing the report] GLaDOS: [Test Assessment Report:] This was a triumph I'm making a note here HUGE SUCCESS! It's hard to overstate my satisfaction. Aperture Science We do what we must Because we can For the good of all of us Except the ones who are dead But there's no sense crying over every mistake You just keep on trying 'til you run out of cake And the science gets done And you make a neat gun For the people who are still alive [Personnel File Addendum: Dear << Subject Name Here >>,] I'm not even angry I'm being so sincere right now Even though you broke my heart And killed me. And tore me to pieces And threw every piece into a fire. As they burned it hurt because I was so happy for you! Now these points of data make a beautiful line And we're out of beta We're releasing on time. And so I'm GLaD I got burned Think of all the things we learned For the people who are Still alive. [Personnel File Addendum Addendum: One Last Thing:] Go ahead and leave me I think I prefer to stay inside Maybe you'll find someone else To help you. Maybe Black Mesa... THAT WAS A JOKE HAHA! FAT CHANCE! Anyway this cake is great It's so delicious and moist Look at me still talking When there's science to do When I look out there It makes me GLaD I'm not you I've experiments to run There is research to be done On the people who are Still alive! [PS:] And believe me I am still alive [PPS:] I'm doing science and I'm still alive [PPPS:] I feel FANTASTIC and I'm still alive [FINAL THOUGHT:] While you're dying I'll be still alive [FINAL THOUGHT PS:] And when you're dead I will be still alive. STILL ALIVE! Still alive! [Shade closes the laptop] Shade: ...o...KAY. Chapter 2: Mystery of the Cut... [camera pan of another deserted town, Shade walks in] Shade: Hello? (pause) *sigh* Great, another town full of NO ONE. [rustle] [Shade checks out the noise, enters a house, and sees the Companion Cube enter a room] Shade: Compy! I swear, I didn't murder you! [in the room, Shade is shocked to see a cloaked figure resembling JOE holding the Companion Cube] ?: I have been waiting for you. Shade: Who are you? ?: *sigh* ...my name is Tagliare. I am a very lonely person, always waiting for someone to come by. Shade: That's... creepy. Tag: You wouldn't think so... if you were as lonely as I. Shade: Still creepy. Tag: Say what you want... I have your Companion Cube. I suppose you would be wanting him/her back... Shade: Yes. Yes I would. Tag: But... if I give it to you... you will only leave me here, will you not? Shade: Naturally. Tag: *sigh* ...before I give it back... I request that you listen to this word of warning. Shade: Um... sure, I guess. Tag: My friends and I-- Shade: I thought you were lonely! Tag: They're not here right now. They... well, are not IMAGINARY, but you may consider them to be. You know them. Shade: The turrets from Aperture Science? Tag: ...since when were they imaginary? Shade: I don't know. Tag: Nontheless, we have been watching you. Watching every move you make. Even the part where you smacked into a bucket. Shade: Your friends saw me in the bathroom!? Tag: ....well, uh... that is beside the point. We watched as you broke out of Aperture Science... destroying it in the process. Shade: So you're a perverted madman, I get it. Tag: Not at all. We are merely... backups. Shade: Backups? Tag: Backups, Shade. Mere backups to you and YOUR friends. However... I am probably confusing you now, correct? Shade: Yep. Tag: EXCELLENT, LET IT CONFUSE YOU! That makes my job easier. Shade: *sigh* ...DJay, do you know this guy? DJ: No... although he seems familiar. Tag: It must, DJ. It must. DJ: Huh? Tag: ...nevermind. Shade, do you remember the laptop you acquired? Shade: The one with the catchy song in it? Tag: The very same. Shade... do you know what it meant? Shade: ...GLaDOS is just as crazy dead as she is alive? Tag: She IS alive, Shade! She kept on saying 'Still Alive,' remember? SHE IS ALIVE! Shade: OR it's the name of the song. Tag: Well, yes, but she-- alas, time grows short for me. Take the Companion Cube, avoid the Chaobine, and remember what we talked about. [Shade takes Compy, gets out, and continues along the highway] Shade: I missed you, Compy. CC: I missed you, too, Shade. Please, don't ever leave me again, MURDERER! Shade: Muh... murderer!? I told you, it wasn't me! GLaDOS forced me! CC: You murdered me, Shade. That hurt my feelings. Shade: Wait, if I murdered you, how are you still alive? CC: The portal storms cause very disastrous things to happen. Shade: That has to do with this... how? CC: Murderer. [the two argue until they hear a faint rumble] Shade: Uh... what was that? Chapter 3: Okay, NOW you're thinking with Portal Storms! CC: The portal storms cause very disastrous things to happen. Shade: WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT!? [louder rumble, lightning is seen in the distance] Shade: Oh boy, here comes the rain. CC: The portal storms cause very-- Shade: Shut up. [lightning again, but closer; louder rumble] Shade: Hey, that doesn't LOOK like lightning. ...it's all... blue. Wait... 'the portal storms'? Oh, Hero Chaos... CC: Enough Orange Box for you yet? Shade: Portal was 'enough Orange Box' for me. [horses are heard coming closer, just barely faster than the blue stuff] Shade: Whoa, what's with the horses? CC: The portal storms, Shade. The portal storms are very disastrous. Horses are scared of them. Shade: Wait... where are the horses going? CC: Away from the portal storms. Shade: Um... uh..... are you any good as a shield? CC: Kind of, why? [Shade ducks behind the Cube as the horses dash past them] CC: Oh. [suddenly, the blue stuff passes through Shade] Shade: Hey, that didn't hurt at all! What were you worrying about-- [the Cube is gone, and any traces of the horses have disappeared] Shade: ...spooky. [so, Shade continues the long walk to the unknown] [something growls] Shade: AAHHH! GHOST! [silence] Shade: ...? [Shade feels pain in his stomach] Shade: Oh... heh......... I'm hungry. [he looks at the eerie surroundings-- just a road] Shade: Aw... [he continues walking, getting hungrier every second] [eventually, he passes out] [hours later, he wakes up next to a cake on the ground, and gobbles straight through it] Shade: Yummy! Wait... now I'M FALLING VICTIM TO CAKE! AAAHHH!! THE CAKE IS A LIE! HELP ME! [he runs as fast as he can before smacking into a sign] Shade: HeY, wAtCh WhErE yOu'Re GoInG.... huh? 'London, next exit'? SWEET! [minutes later, he's in London, or rather-- another deserted town which looks exactly like the others] Shade: Um... something's wrong here. [suddenly, he sees the Companion Cube AGAIN, then hears a portal storm coming closer] Shade: Uh... Compy... or storm? ....tough question. [the storm instantly passes through the town, and as it passes, the town turns into London, and the Cube disappears] Shade: ...Dubbyuh... Tee... Eff. [he runs up to a man] Shade: Excuse me, sir, do you know where the nearest Chao Transporter is? Man: Yeah, up i' t' old centa'. Shade: Right, uh... thanks. [a few seconds later] Shade: ....what? [the man points towards a large building] Shade: OH! ..I knew that. [as he proceeds to the building, things start 'fading' into a deserted town, and the Cube appears again] CC: Hey, Shade. How's it going? Shade: Oh, I dunno... things keep messing up my mind. CC: You know... that cake was real. I put it there. Shade: But... I thought you thought I was a murderer! CC: I DO. But, even murderers don't deserve to die. Shade: *quietly* Tell that to Texas. CC: Still, I bet you're wondering what's going on, right? Shade: Duh. CC: The portal storms, Shade. The portal storms is what's going on. Shade: But... what does that even MEAN? CC: It means-- *notices portal storm coming* ....oh, snap. Shade: Well? CC: The teddy bear; the teddy bear knows all! [the portal storm switches everything back to normal] Chapter 4: Escape? [Shade enters the building] Shade: Where's the Chao Transporter? Clerk: 37. Shade: In a row? --oh, FLOOR 37. I knew that. [he takes the elevator to floor 37, and walks down a long hall of doors] Shade: Talk about eerie. DJ: Hey, I LOVE eerie things. Shade: I can tell. [at the end of the hallway is a big painting of the Nomble] Shade: What's funny is that this place ISN'T in a secretcity map; it's completely original. Tag: I know. Shade: *jumps in shock* WHOA! Where'd you come from? Tag: I was with the clerk. What is wrong? Shade: I... thought there was a Chao Transporter up here... Tag: There IS. ...however, it is not easy to get to. It is in one of these doors. Shade: What's so hard about that? [Shade opens a door, only to smack into a brick wall] Shade: Oh. Tag: You must pass into the land of illusions, walk past the brick wall, then wait for a portal storm to take you back. Shade: And... if I pick the wrong door, I'll have to repeat the process? Tag: Quite so. Shade: I hate you, DJay. [suddenly, Shade runs away, then comes back with dynamite] Tag: Wh...where did you get that?! Shade: Dark chao always have ten tons of dynamite in hand... [he places it at every wall, and blows them up, revealing nothing in any of them] Shade: WHAT THE!? Tag: Mmmhmmhmmm... my work is complete. Farewell, Shade. I will see you again. [Tagliare sends Shade to the Chao Lobby] Shade: Okay, that was odd. At least I'm back! [he rushes into the Dark Garden, only to find everything on fire] Shade: ...is this because I farted? Tag: No. Shade: *jump* !!! Will you stop doing that? Tag: I am simply saying... it was due to Echo. [Tagliare disappears] Shade: Echo? ...oh, I remember. HIM. [Echo flies down to Shade] Echo: ... Shade: ... [they have a stare-off (stare at each other dramatically) for a few seconds] Echo: Welcome back. Shade: What did you do? Echo: What, I don't even get a 'hello'? Shade: WHAT did you DO? Echo: To this garden, or to ALL of them? Shade: WHAT DID YOU DO? Echo: Nothing much, just a simple bombing. 40-caliber, like an atomic bomb, only not as post-damaging. Shade: ... Echo: I followed my orders. I was told to 'bomb the **** out of the gardens,' as MILKMAN said. Shade: Oh, so MILKMAN's behind all this, huh? Echo: Of course he is! His plan was GENIUS! I had to fly around for a few days, just to get the Heroes to worry. Shade: What about the Darks? Echo: They were too busy worrying where their leader was to notice me drop the F-bomb on them, followed by the real thing. Shade: You SWORE at my men!? Echo: Why not? I mean, a second later, they were dead. Shade: You son of a-- [Shade jumps to strike at Echo, who takes to the skies] Echo: A battle you want, a battle you get. Chapter 5: The Climax/Shade VS the Beta Avengers [Shade hops into the air, but Echo swiftly avoids him] [Echo slams Shade into the ground with his talons, who breaks free and punches him] Echo: Nice; you managed to get a hit in. But that'll be the only one you'll give! [Echo rises into the air, charges down, smacks into Shade, and quickly flies back up] Shade: Come back down here, coward! Let's fight like chao! Echo: I'm no chao, mortal. I am a Beta Avenger! [Echo flies incredibly high into the air, and dives down into Shade, causing quite some damage] [Shade grabs onto his tail as he rises back, and rapidly punches him] [as Echo tries to fight back, Shade plucks a feather off his tail, and quickly jumps off, letting Echo slam into a wall] [Shade approaches Echo, who is lying on the ground] Shade: Tell me-- who is Tagliare? Echo: *cough* I'll give you a hint... *hack* he is like me... Shade: He's a bird? Tag: I am a Beta Avenger. Shade: *jumps* You've GOTTA stop doing that, dude! --Wait, what? Tag: I. Am. A. Beta. Avenger. Understand? Shade: ...yet you helped me. Tag: I helped you do nothing except come here, to your demise. Shade: So... you're the fourth robot thingy? Tag: Quite so. Only, we are not 'robot thingies,' we are two robots and two dark matter creatures. Echo: MILKMAN and JOE are robots, we're dark matter. Shade: Okay, could someone explain this whole 'dark matter' thing to me? Tag: It is quite simple-- dark matter is the stuff that forms evil creatures. Shade: Like Dark Matter and 02? Echo: Yeah, pretty much. Tag: So, may we resume fighting? Shade: Right. [Shade continues pummelling Echo until Tagliare stops him] Tag: Allow me to show you what I can do! [suddenly, Shade starts seeing Chao Talk, and the Companion Cube appears] Shade: Compy, go hide! The Beta Avengers are here! CC: You murdered me, Shade. You murdered me. Shade: But... what about our talk? What about Texas? [the Nomble is seen coming closer in the distance] CC: Sorry, Shade, but the Nomble is the only thing to do with Texas you'll be seeing. Shade: B-but the Nomble has nothing to DO with Texas! CC: Exactly. [the Cube vanishes, and the Nomble's scream is heard as it comes closer] Shade: TAGLIARE, WHAT DID YOU DO!? Tag: I gave you extreme hallucinations. Shade: HOLY-- please stop appearing from nowhere! Tag: I have the ability to make creatures believe what I want them to. Shade: And that means...? Tag: Right now, I am making you believe you are in Chao Talk. Shade: Oh. So... you can make me believe I'm dead? ...won't I still be alive? Tag: If one believes they are being hurt, they really WILL be hurt. Same theory. Shade: So... so YOU'RE the reason I've been going through these tramautic experiences? Tag: Quite so. Like I said, I have been watching you. ...as well as following you. [right before the Nomble kills Shade, he 'wakes up'] Tag: WHAT? My powers never fail me! ...unless there was a portal storm... Shade: (thinking) Of course... I destroyed Aperture Science, which resulted in some disastrous portal storms! [Shade powerfully punches Tagliare] Shade: Looks like your little hypnotism didn't work THIS time, dark scum! [Shade and Tagliare engage in a five-minute long fistfight] Tag: *pant* ...don't you... get tired? Shade: I'm a Dark chao-- I've never HEARD of the word 'tired'! ...well, I HAVE, but I'm trying to make this look cool. [Shade delivers a finishing blow, leaving Tagliare lying on the ground] Chapter 6: The Others [Echo jumps to Shade, who takes a small step to the side, letting him smack into Tagliare] Both: Oof... Shade: Now, you two... my friends; are they really dead? Echo: Ugh... I wasn't entirely watching, but.... I dropped a large bomb on them... how could they NOT die? [Shade kicks Echo] Shade: I hate you, y'know. Echo: I know... Shade: Could you guys at least tell me how I ended up in Aperture Science? Tag: It was the boss' idea... MILKMAN... he told us to sign you up while you were asleep. Shade: I hate how everything happens while I sleep! [Shade takes a look at the sky] Shade: My friends... they're GONE. All gone. [suddenly, an idea springs to mind] Shade: Wait... what about this whole 'prophecy' thing? With the Chaos Drives? Echo: Legend has it that the eight/seven Chaos Drives will power any chao to their next level... Shade: In English, please? Tag: Get these seven or eight thingamabobs to go all sparkly. Shade: Oh. But... what about my friends? Is there any way to bring them back? Echo: Uh... Thriller? Shade: Hey, yeah! That worked before, it should work now! But... I don't have the CD anywhere... Tag: Sounds like there is only one option left, then. Shade: Please... not that! I don't wanna do that! Echo: It's for your friends. Shade: *sigh* ...all right. But, just THIS ONCE. [cut to the Chao Lobby, a spotlight shines on Shade (wearing a beige suit)] Shade: It's close to midnight and something evil's lurking in the dark Under the moonlight you see a sight that almost stops your heart You try to scream but terror takes the sound before you make it You start to freeze as horror looks you right between the eyes, You're paralyzed 'Cause this is thriller, thriller night And no one's gonna save you from the beast about strike You know it's thriller, thriller night You're fighting for your life inside a killer, thriller tonight You hear the door slam and realize there's nowhere left to run You feel the cold hand and wonder if you'll ever see the sun You close your eyes and hope that this is just imagination But all the while you hear the creature creepin' up behind You're out of time 'Cause this is thriller, thriller night There ain't no second chance against the thing with forty eyes You know it's thriller, thriller night You're fighting to survive inside a killer, thriller tonight Night creatures call And the dead start to walk in their masquerade There's no escapin' the jaws of the alien this time (They're open wide) This is the end of your life They're out to get you, there's demons closing in on every side They will possess you unless you change the number on your dial Now is the time for you and I to cuddle close together All thru the night I'll save you from the terror on the screen, I'll make you see That this is thriller, thriller night 'Cause I can thrill you more than any ghost would dare to try Girl, this is thriller, thriller night So let me hold you tight and share a killer, diller, chiller Thriller here tonight Darkness falls across the land The midnite hour is close at hand Creatures crawl in search of blood To terrorize y'awl's neighbourhood And whosoever shall be found Without the soul for getting down Must stand and face the hounds of hell And rot inside a corpse's shell The foulest stench is in the air The funk of forty thousand years And grizzy ghouls from every tomb Are closing in to seal your doom And though you fight to stay alive Your body starts to shiver For no mere mortal can resist The evil of the thriller Can you dig it?!!! Moo-hoo-hoo-haa-haaaaaa!!! [song ends, everyone comes back] Shade: I don't EVER want to do that again. Chapter 7: Sledgehammer? More like CLIFFHANGER! [cut to the Dark Garden, Shade reunites with his friends] Dark: YAY, I'm alive! Red: But... wasn't that ressurection kind of... anti-climactic? Shade: Look, I didn't act like MJ for nothing; BE THANKFUL. Red: Sorry. Thank you. Shade: Hey, uh.. what'd you guys do with the Beta Avengers? SShade: What? I thought YOU... [Tagliare's manical laughter is heard, accompanied by Echo's bird-like screech] Shade: Ay carumba... [suddenly, a large bomb appears with a sign right next to it] Sign: "HA HA HA! This bomb will explode in two minutes unless you blow it up first with dynamite! Because the dynamite will make a much less explosion." Ph: Go, Shade! Use your dynamite! Shade: Uh... Csky: Shade... you... DO have your dynamite, right? (to the others) He always has dynamite; tell me he has dynamite! [Shade has a flashback of Tagliare saying "Mmmhmmhmmm... my work is complete," right after Shade used his dynamite] Shade: Um... guys? You may want to run as far away from here as possible. Dark: Why? Shade: Just trust me. [they all run seperate ways, as well as the Heroes, who recieved a bomb, too] [fade out, followed by a two loud explosions, and Echo's and Tagilare's laughter] END...?